Life Raft - drifting into the weekend

First a little bit of housekeeping -

• Kathy has a huge heart and doesn't want to turn anyone away but please, please do not come over without contacting someone first to see if she is up to it.
• I put the Dinner link on the side bar of the blog if you want to sign up.

xxxoo from Kathy and Julie.
....

We are still just out here floating around together. Kathy is still the leader and still giving directions but our little life raft is being steered by currents beyond our control and it is not bad. Our world is cool and we have plenty to eat and drink thanks to many of you out there. We drift and occasionally pitch and toss.

Last evening when I arrived, Kathy smiled a kind of an evil grin and said she was having "roid rage". Too much steroid in the mix makes her pretty anxious/angry. Luckily I missed that storm. Everything was really great. Nancy McIntosh and Judy Martino were a hit with their manicotti and flan. Everyone was full and smiling. Nice.

As we gathered around Kathy in the big bed. I picked up small stories from the day. Kathy awoke weeping which I guess has been happening a little more often. She is most sunny with a chance of rain. She seems to be worrying less about the mundane details of life - checking accounts, bills, projects, etc. She admitted to being scared sometimes of what is beyond our vision. She said that sometimes when she can close her eyes and just let go, she feels the wonderful place, the place of love and compassion that she visited during her near death experience immediately following her accident. She is frightened about letting go but happy to be going to this place where she truly believes that she will be happy.

We floated awhile on the big bed of a life boat. We visited old memories and friends. Kathy told us some funny stories from her residency and spoke kindly of Mel Greer whom she regarded as her mentor. She talked about her death and the fact that she feared she might have a seizure. She told us all what to do if she did so that we wouldn't freak out. We asked about her brain and how she thinks things will happen. We tossed gently from one topic to another.

Julie brought Kathy's pills to her and Kathy kind of grilled her about them. At one point she took a pill out of her mouth and they had a discussion about dosage etc. As you can see, she is still very much on board with us.

Julie has been really amazing. The first week or so of this trip, she seemed completely overwhelmed - and really - who wouldn't be? But there is something really different now about her. She has a calm kind of almost smile on her face much of the time. Really, even before all this happened, most of us would not describe Julie as calm. Julie has always been a bit of a worrier and just possibly, having so much to worry about has pushed to a new place, her own spot of calmness amidst the turbulent motions of our raft.

It is a journey and it is not fun but the wonderful thing is that we are all holding hands, holding on to each other to keep anyone from falling overboard. We shift our weight as the raft lists to one side, someone gets too tired and someone else moves in to reestablish our balance so that we can continue this journey with all safe on board.