This blogspot has been set up to honor Kathy!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Entry from Lorelei's Journal

Entry from Lorelei's Journal:

July 17, 2010

Today may be the day. We are holding vigil at Hospice, we feel that she can hear us, she sounds very loud, she is holding on loudly. Randi called me last night at midnight to see if I should come, I waited until this morning to be relief. Jules didn't sleep at all. Sue is here now. She is reading to Kathy and crying her heart out. I sit quietly across the room lest I interfere with the passing, lest I inadvertently call her back to this drab world.

Driving here, I saw a box turtle trying to cross the road. I passed it and then came back to help it to the other side. When I picked it up I saw that its underside had been cracked and grown back together. The tortoise is Kathy's spirit animal.

We will sit in this room waiting and praying and crying and loving her until she passes and then we will begin all of that again. Words cannot express being in this room with her, with the last bit that hangs on to this world, the grasp on each one of our spirits. I feel that she has said goodbye, has loved us all, has finished her loose ends, and realized her projects.

Now we wait, and are tender and loving, for her to leave, to go to the light. I miss my dear friend. Our beautiful, philosophical conversations, our support and comfort of each other, the love and the heartbreak we have shared. The love of nature, the experience of nature, and crossing over into each other's realm, the intellectual to the visual seen through each other's eyes. I am grateful for knowing her, it has been a privilege and is a great loss.

Give her peace, free her beautiful spirit, let her rest, and move into the light, flying, moving freely, unimpeded by her broken wings, let her pass in peace. We love her so. Make her whole in spirit.

We sit in vigil. We wait and love. She can hear us and she can feel us. She can feel the love. God take her sweetly without any more suffering. She has suffered for years for us. She has made a better world, and if I didn't know better I would think you a cruel God, but I know I am blessed for having known her, and will keep the light of her memory forever and I will shine this light in the world in tribute to her and the love she has given us.

7 comments:

  1. Thinking of you all with tears and sadness, but happy that soon all Kathy's suffering will be over, we are holding you all in light....

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  2. I Looked Up by Mary Oliver

    I looked up and there it was
    among the green branches of the pitchpines—

    thick bird,
    a ruffle of fire trailing over the shoulders and down the back—

    color of copper, iron, bronze—
    lighting up the dark branches of the pine.

    What misery to be afraid of death.
    What wretchedness, to believe only in what can be proven.

    When I made a little sound
    it looked at me, then it looked past me.

    Then it rose, the wings enormous and opulent,
    and, as I said, wreathed in fire.

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  3. You are all in my thoughts constantly.
    Being able to know what is happening is so important and I thank you for keeping us blog readers so close. Deep Love and Thanks. Ruth

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  4. I send gratitude for the ways that Kathy, Julie and all of those attending them have shared the journey. It has helped to be able to turn to the blog for information, knowing that it would not be imposing on those of you who have kept contant and loving vigil. I have felt and been moved by the intentionality of this move from a spirit fettered but not daunted by a damaged body to a new realm where we believe there are no such fetters. I wish you all peaceful hearts and spirits in the time of loss.

    N Mc

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  5. 3pm-Saturday - Listening to Kathy breathing brought me back in time to many of my loved ones in the last of their journey.

    As I spoke to her and told her how I loved her, and how special her life has been to so many people, etc, she stopped her heavy breathing and she became quiet and peaceful. How special that was, as it was almost like she was listening to me and focusing on my words, rather than her heavy breathing.

    The connection I felt, beyond any doubt,was that her spirit was listening. What a special moment that was for me.

    As I told her, we all will see her again and as her past loved ones are waiting for her, she will be waiting for us.

    I'm so glad I went to tell her how I feel about her and how thankful I am that she was one of the first people I met when we moved here.... and to have her be my doctor! love-dorie

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  6. May this passing be as the bees and butterflies and birds...like a sunset gently fading away...sending love and light to you all.
    -Susan

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  7. I have never met Kathy. I have only heard about her from my partner, Michael. But in the context of those stories, I sensed a woman of great depth and this journal has proven that to be so. While attending a funeral in the mid-80s, an unattributed quote was printed in the leaflet. I have never forgotten it.

    "When you come to the end of all the light you have ever known, faith tells you that one of two things will occur. There will be something firm on which to stand or you will be taught to fly."

    I am hoping we learn to fly...Bruce

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